Who is the hot lady in the ads for IssueTrak on SF?

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migrated from meta.stackoverflow.com Jul 22 '10 at 18:07

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If anything deserves a "status-wtf" tag, this does. –  gnovice Aug 7 '09 at 19:39
    
@TheTXI: Awww, but it's not red! –  gnovice Aug 7 '09 at 19:40
    
Well if you can convince the higher ups to give me mod status around here like on SuperUser we might be able to talk. –  TheTXI Aug 7 '09 at 19:41
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This is apparently the closest thing I am getting to a decent Friday Afternoon, so I am taking full advantage of it. –  TheTXI Aug 7 '09 at 19:46
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Bad news: The OP has issues. Good news: Now he can track them! –  Hilarious Comedy Pesto Aug 7 '09 at 19:47
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Loving that tag! –  Juan Manuel Aug 7 '09 at 19:53
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This is the first time I've wished I had 3000 rep on Meta. –  mmyers Aug 7 '09 at 19:57
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@mmyers: Why? Do you want to migrate it to SO, too? –  Hilarious Comedy Pesto Aug 7 '09 at 20:00
    
Boat programming is off limits, but this is a pile-on? I don;t get it. Also - she's not really a hottie. –  tim Aug 7 '09 at 20:24
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Oh dear... reminds me of the "Irish girl" theme on tdwtf –  Marc Gravell Aug 8 '09 at 20:39

20 Answers 20

ladonna LaDonna: Good news, sir! Our ad on ServerFault is getting a lot of attention!

hank Hank: Really? I bet sales are way up! Let's have a party!

hooray Everyone: Hooray!

ladonna LaDonna: No, sir. The ad is getting attention, not the product. They want to know who the woman is.

hank Hank: Who knows? We got her photo from that creepy guy who lives in the park.

mayor Creepy old guy: Hey there, young fella! I found ya another girlie what for your dirty pictures! She's a right purty one, ain't she?

hank Hank: They aren't dirty pictures. They're for advertisements for our software. I read in a magazine that pretty woman can improve -- wait a minute, that's my daughter!

mayor Hank's daughter: Hi, Dad! This old guy offered me this magical vessal full of purified lifeforce in exchange for a photo shoot. See?

vase

hank Hank: Sweetie, that's a vase with a glowstick in it. Why don't you go home now, before the pirates kidnap you and make you their cabin wench?

pirates Pirates: ARRRR!

ladonna LaDonna: Sir, I keep telling you, they aren't that kind of pirates. They're people want our software, but don't feel like paying, so they go out and get an illegal copy.

hank Hank: People want our software?! It must be because our ads are working. I bet sales are way up. Let's have a party!

hooray Everyone: Hooray!

ladonna LaDonna: Sigh

The above is a dramatization and mostly fabricated. All photos taken from IssueTrak's site.

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Some people provide worthwhile input, but not me. I'm more interested in the important things, like castles and imagined conversations. –  Hilarious Comedy Pesto Aug 7 '09 at 23:47
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Fun stuff, but please keep in mind that IssueTrak (and every other sponsor) pays the bills around here. And a full-time staff of seven (and growing) doesn't come cheap. I think we're borderline OK here, but I don't want to have to explain to Hank (or another sponsor) why the site they paid good money to adverise on is making fun of them. Hank's a great guy, but remember that he's a real person. Not everyone responds cordially to having their photos used in this manner. –  Alex Papadimoulis Aug 15 '09 at 8:16
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Alex: RTFM. –  Geoffrey Chetwood Aug 17 '09 at 13:14
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@Alex: I understand your position fully, but it's your position, not mine; I'm not beholden to the advertisers. I do, though, understand that they pay the bills, and that if they're unhappy, it creates problems for everyone. I don't mean them any harm, but if you feel it should be taken down, by all means have it taken down. –  Hilarious Comedy Pesto Aug 17 '09 at 13:44
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@Pesto: We're good. I just wanted to give a heads-up/fair-warning so that if/when someone does cross the line, we can go "told ya so." FWIW, this did crack me up ;-) –  Alex Papadimoulis Aug 18 '09 at 5:05
    
@Alex: have they (IssueTrak) seen this already? –  perbert Oct 6 '09 at 16:35
    
never mind :) meta.stackexchange.com/questions/13165/… –  perbert Oct 6 '09 at 16:37

Alex, you promised us we'd get results if we advertised on ServerFault. You weren't kidding! We're big fans of StackOverflow, ServerFault, Jeff Atwood, Joel Spolsky, and their podcast.

This is great! Pesto, if you're ever in Virginia Beach, look us up, LaDonna would be glad to buy you a beer! I might even introduce you to "my daughter" (She's actually the head of a local non-profit. Can't wait to send her the link to this question!).

By the way, Alex, is this going to cost us extra?

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@Hank Luhring: you can't buy this kind of publicity :) –  perbert Oct 7 '09 at 12:53

If you 'view source' on the ad, you may be able to find who owns the copyright on the picture. It's likely to be either the ad-agency, a stock-photo company, or IssueTrak themselves. From there you can email the copyright holder directly and see if you are able to ascertain her A/S/L. And possibly phone number.

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I already gave name and number and even email address. Easy way to ask for a date that way. –  TheTXI Aug 7 '09 at 20:10
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+1 because this is actually a good answer and to put it above all of TheTXI's –  Down with the Samp Aug 7 '09 at 20:10

What I have learned from this question:

Evony had the right idea.

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That they did. I'd like to place a formal request for more boobs on SOFU. –  Eric Aug 15 '09 at 5:12
    
Bill Hicks got it right with the ideal coke commercial. –  Sam Saffron Aug 15 '09 at 11:54

I have heard that her name was Francesca O'Neil. She was rescued from a Turkish brothel at the tender age of 17 and has been your standard "girl you put on Issue Tracking software ads" girl ever since.

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She isn't even paid for appearing in the ads. She just cares that strongly about issue tracking. –  Hilarious Comedy Pesto Aug 7 '09 at 19:43
    
Another Francesca? –  mmyers Aug 7 '09 at 19:46
    
How do you know it's not the same? –  TheTXI Aug 7 '09 at 19:49
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I'm not answering that on the grounds that this discussion would most likely go in a direction I don't want to go. –  mmyers Aug 7 '09 at 19:50

Having personally worked with the fine folks at Issue Trak, I think I'm the most qualified to answer this one.

Her name is Anastasia Model-C8D4N, and she is a robot from the year 3012. Actually, the word "robot" is bit of a misnomer, since the line between "human" and "machine" no longer will apply. As I'm sure you're all aware, a thousand years from now, we will all be "robots" that exist only in a simulation within another simulation within yet another simulation, all which runs on a Pentium z9 Micro on a USB 6.0 flip drive on a computer in the first simulation.

Don't worry, it doesn't make sense to me either. Our primitive minds just can't make sense of it all.

Anyway, Anastasia was sent back in time to work as a CSR at a software company so that she could preempt a devastating bug that would be ultimately responsible for the Collective Mind collapse of 2483. It's only through complete happenstance that a photographer noticed Anastasia on her way to work, and asked if she could be used in a stock photo. Not wanting to arouse suspicion, Anastasia agreed.

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Shelly Johnson, aged 27. Finally got bored of touring cross country as a Linkin Park groupie and decided to enter the work force as a stock photography model.

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If I had 3000 rep on Music Overflow, I'd vote to close Linkin Park as "blatantly offensive". –  mmyers Aug 7 '09 at 20:03
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@mmyers: That presupposes that what Linkin Park does can be considered music in the first place. –  Hilarious Comedy Pesto Aug 7 '09 at 20:07
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not-music-related –  TheTXI Aug 7 '09 at 20:11
    
Linkin Park? I love that guy! –  devinb Aug 7 '09 at 20:27
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I still like Linkin Park... the hell with all of you! –  gnovice Aug 7 '09 at 20:28
    
I once played golf at a course called Lincoln Park -- does that count for anything? –  mmyers Aug 7 '09 at 20:37
    
I'm assuming Shelly worked at a diner in the pacific northwest before she started touring with Linkin Park? (+1 for the Twin Peaks reference) –  Electrons_Ahoy Aug 8 '09 at 20:33

Random Stock Photo Girl

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Other reports are that she is actually Tatum Christoph, a girl who has been missing from her family in Delta, Louisiana for the past 24 years. All her life has been captured by various cameras and published as stock photography, unknown to her biological parents. At this time she currently lives in a modest house on Bibbington Court in Hanover, PA.

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So, it's like a female Truman Show? –  gnovice Aug 7 '09 at 19:46
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Reminds me of good ol' Everywhere Girl: theinquirer.net/inquirer/news/1016559/… –  Hilarious Comedy Pesto Aug 7 '09 at 19:46

Polly Simmons, aged 26, is a former student of the famed Julliard school for dancing. After what appeared to be a promising future she was expelled from school after getting caught writing satanic verses on the stalls of the girls' bathroom. Shamed and without the money to return home to Ironton, OH, she remained in New York City doubling as both an exotic dancer and private escort. This however was cut short when an unfortunate accident led to an unplanned pregnancy and her subsequent firing from both jobs.

After several months of hard rehabilitation and parenting classes, Polly managed to land herself a job as an Issue Tracking software advertising cover model, and is now earning an honest wage and caring for her newborn son, Opie. She and her son, along with live-in boyfriend make their home now in Atlantic City, NJ.

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alt text

Oh, wait, wrong site. Anyway, we need a Girl-related meme. i mean, seriously, TDWTF has three already (The other two being beanbag girl and foosbag girl), and SO is really falling behind the competition!

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Her name's Becky. She lives in Iqaluit, Nunavut, Canada.

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Well, as long of a walk as you can take on the beaches of Iqaluit... –  Eric Aug 7 '09 at 19:42
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Any amount of time on the beaches of Iqaluit is too long. –  Hilarious Comedy Pesto Aug 7 '09 at 19:44
    
She is reported to be the owner of a 100-sided RPG die. –  gbarry Aug 20 '09 at 5:45

That's no lady. That's a dude.

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She's a man, baby! –  Critical Failure Aug 7 '09 at 22:14

Has anyone noticed that TheTXI has posted several, apparently contradictory, statements about this person? At first I thought he must be lying or wrong, but since he has more than 23k rep, that can't be it. There's only one other possibility.

She's a cylon.

If anybody asks, I'm taking the rest of the day off to look for a Boomer.

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She's really my sister...

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Your sister's hot. Is she single? –  Matt Grande Aug 7 '09 at 19:50
    
No, she's not. She's dating this guy:pzwart2.wdka.hro.nl/~mdebruijn/netlorelib/tourist_3.jpg –  Thomas Owens Aug 7 '09 at 19:54
    
I knew it -- she looks just like you! –  mmyers Aug 7 '09 at 20:01
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[citation needed] –  Kyle Cronin Aug 7 '09 at 20:08

Mary Connel is a recent graduate of the Teays Valley Regional Dental Academy. Apparently what you are seeing is a stolen profile photo. It can be guessed that the guys at IssueTrak thought that at she looked professional enough to give credibility to their software. Of course they only show what is photographed from the chest up.

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Catherine Amanda Fulop García (born March 11, 1965, Caracas, Venezuela) is a Venezuelan model of Hungarian descent, actress and sister-in-law of Gabriela Beatriz Sabatini. She participated in Miss Venezuela 1986 where she finished as fourth runner-up. She was married to Fernando Carrillo from 1990 to 1994. She has been married to Osvaldo Sabatini (brother of famous tennis player Gabriela Sabatini) since April 3, 1998 and has two daughters with him and a dog, Oriana and Tiziana. She now lives in Argentina where she works as an actress and conducts "Catherine 100%" a TV exercise program on Fox Sports en Español.

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The only solution is to ask their help desk. Maybe you can ask this woman:

alt text

Hmmm, I wonder who she is, too...

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That's Sabrina Woodfell. Last I heard about her she is currently taking calls for BlueHost. –  TheTXI Aug 7 '09 at 20:13
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Well... at least she is satisfied .. –  Sam Saffron Aug 15 '09 at 5:17

Henrietta Golberstien is a German quasi-celebrity who tours around the various D-level SysAdmin conferences in the United States and European Union countries. She has achieved modest success as a cover model for several SysAdmin related products along with IssueTrak. Some particular favorites are TossMyTicket and ScanThePortz.co.de

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Maybe she is related to the macwarehouse/pcwarehouse/macmall/pcmall signiture lady with the headset on for the last 15+ years.

I'd find a pic, but @ work.

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