My suggestion to solve this issue would be to merge two of the existing close reasons (in order to free up space, but also because it makes sense to merge them) and to add a new one.

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The new close reason would be analogue to the old "questions must demonstrate a minimal understanding of the problem being solved", with a little more emphasis on the "you really don't seem to have a clue about what you're doing" part, but without being excessively patronizing and also offering a way out. A possible wording could be:

    Questions must demonstrate a basic understanding of the problem being
    solved and the technologies involved; they must also show at least some
    research effort on your part. If you think you are out of your depth
    working on this issue, you should consider hiring a professional.

This would also work nicely for those questions (and there are ***lots*** of them) where "RTFM" or "hire someone who knows what he's doing" are the only appropriate answers.

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In order to free up the space for this new close reason, I suggest to merge "must be about managing information technology systems in a business environment" and "should demonstrate reasonable business information technology management practices" into a single close reason encompassing both (which are actually quite similar), such as:

    Questions must be about managing information technology systems in a
    business environment, using reasonable business IT management practices.
    Questions related to home and end-user computing, development or
    testing, unsupported hardware or software platforms and unmaintained
    environments may not be suitable for Server Fault.

This would leave out the whole "should be asked on SO or SU" part, but this is ok, because that is already covered perfectly by the "this question belongs on another site in the Stack Exchange network" close reason, which also allows migration.

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This solution would remove some overlap between several existing close reasons (the two I'm suggesting to merge and "belongs on another site"), and would add a new close reason covering "you don't seem to have a clue", "RTFM" and "you should hire a professional", the three biggest and most common pitfalls of hopelessly flawed questions.