I don't have much to add in direct response that hasn't been already stated elsewhere, but being very active on the site and wanting to see it succeed I do feel compelled to point out that there is a very active community at meta.stackoverflow.com ready to address issues such as this. Nearly every point that you reference and the actions of the community that you refer to have been discussed on Meta in some form or another. And even if not, then it is well worth raising your concerns there as well. I have already asked that the moderators move this discussion over to Meta, where you're likely to see some more varied discussions from the non-sysadmin participants on the other sites.
As an exmaple, here are a few specific questions that I've seen and been a part of that relate to some of your points:
- How do we grow the ServerFault and SupserUser communities?
- What Questions belong on SupserUser vs ServerFault
- Solving Problems using ServerFault
I can't emphasize enough the importance of raising concerns through the proper channels if you care to see anything change. It sounds like it might be too late for you, but maybe (hopefully!) after the bike ride you will feel different and consider another go at it.
ServerFault is a community. All of the SOFU sites were developed with community in mind. As such you will inherently see a vary wide variety of personalities. None of us are perfect, and I put myself at the top of that list. The choice is always yours whether or not to participate. Personally, I hope you do and I hope you help make it better. If not, well, then I do wish you the best of luck and I'm sorry that it didn't work out.
