My current automagic comments are here http://pastebin.com/UKxgLYHN

    ###Nothing but a URL (and isn't spam)
    We really do prefer that answers contain content not pointers to content. Whilst this may theoretically answer the question, [it would be preferable](http://meta.stackoverflow.com/q/8259) to include the essential parts of the answer here, and provide the link for reference.
     
    ###Another user adding a 'Me too!'
    This is an old question, if it's answers don't help you then please ask your own question by clicking the [Ask Question](http://$SITEURL$/questions/ask) button.
     
    ###Belongs on SU
    Your question is off topic for Serverfault because it doesn't appear to relate to servers/networking or desktop infrastructure in a professional environment. It may be on topic for [Superuser](http://superuser.com) but please [search](http://superuser.com/search) their site for similar questions that may already have the answer you're looking for.
     
    ###Belongs on SO
    Your question is off topic for Serverfault because it appears to relate programming. It may be on topic for [StackOverflow](http://stackoverflow.com) but please [search](http://stackoverflow.com/search) their site for similar questions that may already have the answer you're looking for.
     
    ### Belongs on AU
    Your question is off topic for Serverfault because it doesn't appear to relate to servers/networking or desktop infrastructure in a professional environment. It may be on topic for [askubuntu](http://askubuntu.com) but please [search](http://askubuntu.com/search) their site for similar questions that may already have the answer you're looking for.
     
    ###Belongs on U&L
    Your question is off topic for Serverfault because it doesn't appear to relate to servers/networking or desktop infrastructure in a professional environment. It may be on topic for [U&L](http://unix.stackexchange.com/) but please [search](http://unix.stackexchange.com/search) their site for similar questions that may already have the answer you're looking for.
     
    ###Belongs on SU | U&L
    Your question is off topic for Serverfault because it doesn't appear to relate to servers/networking or desktop infrastructure in a professional environment. It may be on topic for [Superuser](http://superuser.com) but please [search](http://superuser.com/search) their site for similar questions that may already have the answer you're looking for. It may also be on topic for [u&L](http://unix.stackexchange.com/) but again, please [search](http://unix.stackexchange.com/search) their site for similar questions that may already have the answer you're looking for.
     
    ### Spammer
    Please read our [faq] in particular [May I promote products or websites I am affiliated with here?](http://$SITEURL$/faq#promotion).