The attitude displayed in comments is IMO a symptom of the problems here, not a part of the problem. I wouldn't be so angry if I didn't have to make 20+ close votes daily just to find a post that looks like someone even tried to find an answer on their own.
I have lowered my standards as to what I consider 'professional' in the way of questions asked to the point where I would happily say 'you are stupid and I will quit if you make me do that' to an actual coworker but on here I would suggest the questioner looks for a site that is targeting beginners.
Without fail that second comment will lead to me being directly insulted.
Nice isn't going to happen until the crap posts greatly decrease in volume or those that want to actively participate in the stated purpose of the site leave. Many already have.
One of those kills serverfault as a community. And you're concerned that we're not being nice. It's a lofty ideal to target but I don't think on the priority of issues here, it's even relevant worth discussing at this point.