Edit the question, don't delete it. The great thing about Stack Exchange is that we have the ability to turn bad questions into good ones.

It doesn't matter that the story isn't *true*; the problem with this question is that the story is *irrelevant*. It can be improved by removing the details that are both useless and false.

> I accidentally ran `rm -rf /` on multiple machines, deleting everything on them (including offsite backups because the remote storage was mounted).
>
> How I can recover from a `rm -rf /` now in a timely manner?